Something I’ve been thinking about this year a lot is the nature of introverts as performers. As an introvert, it has been somewhat of an interesting journey learning to navigate the belly dance culture with these tendencies.
American culture is largely “extroverted”, as friendly interactions are expected to be loud, boisterous, and exciting. For those of us who are introverts, this itself can be overwhelming, as we are constantly drained by loud public interaction. I spent years forcing myself to act as an extrovert, trying to be the life of the party, only to realize that it was causing me a huge amount of stress.
I can be an extreme introvert. Without solitary space at night, I won’t sleep – I have gone nearly 5 days without sleep when forced to travel with others, often ending in near insanity on my part. This isn’t an exaggeration, it’s why I rarely travel, and why when I do, I always get a separate room. I need a few nights a month to get my social fix, but I need to have an equal or greater amount of quiet to balance it out.
That being said, I LOVE to travel or go to social occasions together with an extrovert. They usually deflect attention off of me, so I can have space to mostly listen, and only speak when I have something relevant to add to the conversation. The extroverts I usually travel with understand my tendencies, which is even better.
Performing as an introvert is interesting. Restaurant / hafla settings are hard, because I’m not naturally the type of person who dances between tables and thinks it’s the greatest thing ever. Stage shows however, are GREAT. I have enough room to breathe and communicate effectively, without feeling like I have to address everyone individually.
How this ties in with stage fright, I’m not certain. I’m sure there’s some connection.
I don’t always enjoy performing, and will often hide myself away for a little while after a set, usually changing out of my gear, before rejoining the audience and talking with others. I almost always love those others, but it can be overwhelming to deal with the energy from being on stage, and then shifting gears immediately to being social.
In classes, I often get questions about why I don’t talk (read: am mean). I usually prefer to be at the back, watching the entire room – I really enjoy watching how others process the same information I’m receiving. Most of the time I just get caught up in what I’m learning and forget that there are other people around. From non-scientific anecdotes I’ve gotten from other introverts, this seems to be pretty common.
So if you see someone watching a workshop in the corner, or disappearing after a set, you’ve probably got an introvert on your hands. With proper care and feeding (and a little quiet), your introvert will be most appreciative.